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How to Be Romantic After 50
Whether you've been married for 25 years or starting out a new relationship, romance is a key part to a happy and healthy relationship. Both you and your partner want to feel loved, no matter what age. There may be different approaches after you're 50, but the basics remain. Be thoughtful. Be intimate. Be connected.
Be affectionate.See intimacy as fun rather than stressful. Find ways to reconnect with your partner in even the simplest of ways. Being affectionate doesn't have an age limit. It can make you and your partner feel better in mind and body.
- Sit on the couch with your arms around each other.
- Hold hands when walking outside, or when going out to dinner.
- Kiss each other more, not just when saying goodbye or goodnight.
- Touch your partner's hands, arms, or legs in an affectionate way. Touching can build a physical and emotional connection.
Express yourself sexually.Listen to your partner and find out what turns him or her on. Talk about what you find appealing. Avoid judgment of yourself or your partner. Remember that each relationship is different, and no one else can define what intimacy looks like for you.
- Avoid getting into a sexual rut. Get out of your regular habits about when, where, and how to have sex.
- Try sex toys or other things that are out of the ordinary in your sexual routine.
- Consider being affectionate in private places outside of the home. For example, take a drive with your partner to a beautiful private place, and make out like you were teenagers.
Create a romantic atmosphere.Think about intimacy as not just about sex. Think about how you can create a romantic place for intimacy to develop. Make your private spaces more welcoming for love.
- Consider making the bedroom a more romantic place. Remove clutter like piles of laundry.
- Use candles or music to set the mood. Make it a space of relaxation.
- Give each other a massage.
Be open about your intimacy concerns.After 50, it's not abnormal to have a lower libido or be less sexually active. Women may be going through hormonal changes due to menopause. Men may have issues with sexual performance as they age. Rather than avoiding these topics, it's important to talk with your partner.
- Your partner is more likely to be understanding if they are aware of how your body is changing.
- Discuss what has been working and not working for you sexually. Avoid blaming yourself or your partner.
Reconnecting With Your Partner
Get away for a romantic weekend.This gives you an opportunity to break from your lives and enjoy each other in a relaxing place. The weekend doesn't need to be extravagant, but it has to be about the two of you. Avoid taking the family or work with you.
- Get out into nature. Go to the beach. Explore a national park. Relax by a lake.
- Take a trip to a big city. Go out for a nice dinner. See a show. Go out for drinks.
- Visit places you've never been to before. While you may have a standard place where you vacation, consider a place off the beaten path.
Rekindle old memories.If you've been in a relationship with someone for many years, sharing memories can help you feel more loved and connected. Think about the places where you met or first dated. Think about the romantic getaways you had in the past.
- Get out the old pictures of special events and talk about them with your partner.
- Consider going back to those old places and seeing what it's like to be there again.
- Recreate a romantic time in the past.
Have regular date nights.When you've been with someone for a long time, the daily routine can be boring or stressful. Whether or not you have kids, it's important to have one-on-one alone time with your partner. This helps to keep the relationship strong and show that you value your partner.
- Consider activities that aren't just dinner and a movie. Think about trying new things.
- Consider having each of you come up with a date night plan every other time. Don't make just one of you do all the planning.
- Avoid distractions or interruptions when on your dates. Unless the situation is life-threatening, your work or your family can wait.
Supporting Your Partner
Compliment and motivate each other.Being romantic can be as simple has believing in your partner. Help them feel good about their goals, dreams, and journeys ahead. When things get tough, it’s not about telling them what to do. It’s about them knowing you’re there to be supportive.
- Compliment them with positive and inspirational words.
- Consider saying something like, “I know it’s tough right now, but you’ve got this” or “You are the sunshine in my day.”
Be confident in your bodies.Do things that make you feel sexy. Value yourself and your partner. Though your body or your partner’s body may have changed over the years, you can be confident and sexy.
- Keep a youthful attitude. Smile. Have fun. Be playful.
- Avoid comparing your or your partner’s body to when you both were in your 20s, 30s, or 40s.
- Make your health a priority. Do what you can in the present to feel good about yourself.
- Think of at least three things that you like about your body. Remind your partner of what you like about his or hers.
Showing You Care
Give thoughtful gifts.Gifts can help to brighten your partner's day. They don't need to be big things. Sometimes the most memorable gifts are given when they are least expected. While it's still wise to give your partner gifts on holidays and special occasions, think about these ways to show you care on ordinary days:
- Be creative. Draw, write, or get crafty. Consider painting a picture of your partner's favorite flower, or a place they like to visit.
- Find something that they love. Whether it's music, games, sports, movies, or something else, think about what would make them happy.
- Give your talents. Play a song for them. Make them a delicious meal. Decorate a space to fit their tastes.
Show your love with words.Communicating your love with kind words will make your partner feel valued and appreciated. This can be done in person, via text, over a phone call, or through email. No matter the form of communication, it's important to tell them how you feel.
- When you see your partner and they look nice, express that with words. Consider saying, "You look so beautiful tonight" or "You look so lovely, as always."
- If your partner is working hard, then make sure to respond with positive words. Say something like, "I love how hard you're working" or "You really are doing an amazing job."
- Avoid talking about what you dislike about their appearance, or how they are doing something poorly. To be romantic you need to avoid nit-picking.
Be caring in your actions.Acts of kindness can be very romantic to your partner. They show that you care. Doing favors or helping out with chores are acts of caring that remind your partner how loving you are.
Video: Romantic Love After 50: My Interview with Sacred Feminine Teacher, Sheila Foster
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